Confusion of Leaving and the Future.

I am irritated and frustrated.
I can live how I want to live.
I have a good head on my shoulders.
I have a good foundation.
I have Christ and people need to let me live for myself.
Everyone keeps assuming things about my life,
most don't even know the situation.
One thing I do know is I am not regretting anything I'm doing.
I've missed out on so much and I am getting it back.
Besides that.

I am back to square one on everything.
It's okay with me anyways.
I have a long time before I really need to know what I am doing with my life.
I miss taking photo's and writing.
I miss editing and spending hours perfecting a photo.
I am back to thinking I want to do photography.
It's frustrating when that's what I'd love to do but everyone frowns on it.
Honestly I don't want to leave this town,
I want to take a break from school.
I just want to figure out what I want to go to school for.

I am glad to be alone again.
But really I am not alone.
I have all the people I love around me.
On top of that I have God's grace all around me.
I am so glad to do what I want when I want with who I want.
I have really missed out on one of my most prized friendships.
I love my best friends and family.

Tomorrow I leave for a missions trip to the Chicago area.
I am nervous, scared, and anxious.
I am nervous for leaving here with no communication because of my dad.
I am scared because I know I am going to be pushed out of my comfort zone insanely.
I feel extremely unprepared because I don't know what to do for the job I've been assigned.
I am anxious to serve the homeless or do any inner city work.
Inner city and homelessness is what I love.
I really hope God pulls me towards something on the trip.