Loner.

I think right now my struggle is just getting used to the way life is or is going to be.
I like being busy and being with people, but I guess I have to learn that life isn't like that.
I can't depend on people and I must depend on God.
I don't know if my "best friend" is always going to be there.
Right now it doesn't feel that I even have one.
So I guess I need to learn to be a "loner".
To be satisfied with being by myself.
I mean hey I get more time with God right?
Oh the things that happen when you "grow up".

Long

It's going to be a very long day.
It going to be a long week...
God help me.
I can't lose this.
You know my desires.
You know my strengths and weaknesses.
Please help me,
I can't do this alone.

Work

I think my second job is going to grow on me.
I don't enjoy it as much as I do the movies.
But either way jobs get old.
However God provided me with these jobs,
and I shouldn't complain because many people don't have jobs...
and i have two.
So God is good.
I think I will get enough down time I hope.
I'm kinda nervous for the future but I know God has control.

Alone.

I think I am getting better at being alone.
It's kind of enjoyable.
I get a lot accomplished.
I still love being with people,
but it's also nice being by myself.
I don't enjoy dealing with difficult people,
not that anyone really does.
I think I've really grown to dislike dealing with people because of my job.
But I will learn patience.
Right now though,
It's nice learning to be alone.
I get a lot more time to be intimate with God.

I was going through old blogs and geez I am so emotional...
But I'm a girl so i guess it fits.
I need to find a way to be content.
I know I will only find contentment through Jesus.
I mean I can't be truly happy if I am always pushing Him aside,
yet I still seem to shove him to the side.
I know things will get better, I know it will take a lot of time to get used too.
I just need to be patient but as many have said,
hardship comes with patience.
It is so true.
I feel like I've just been swamped with everything.
My job takes me away from people I love,
School will soon consume my free time,
my other job isn't very enjoyable and also time consuming...
I need to spend more time with God,
I miss just digging into His Word.
But I have very limited free time and when I am free I want to see people.
Thats another thing, I need to work on being alright on my own.
I am far too relational but thats how God wired girls right?
I just want to be around people all the time.
Well not just any people but the people I really love.
I'd rather be with someone than by myself.
Thats how a lot of people are right?



Gosh I have a lot of praying to do cause I need some guidance and love...

stupid

I am so sick of life.
I am sick of being busy and not time to see any one.
I can't relax at home and i dont know why.
I don't want to waste my life.
I hate working all the time and going to school
I'm just unhappy.

Captivating.

Ever since my friend Gabe started his worship leading job it takes us a half hour to get to church. When we first started going we would have to leave around sunrise. Ever since then I have found the sky so captivating. In the mornings the sun is so beautiful and the clouds with the oranges its so beautiful. At sunset the sky is one big rainbow. I love the sky. God is so beautiful. Captivating.

My Guitar and I

I am so happy to be involved with music again.
I know I've written about this before but I missed it so much. I am in the process of learning guitar and I've already created some diddys with the few chords I know. I love my guitar but one day I want a Taylor :) My fender will do for now though. I want to know more and more. Now I only wish I had a great voice but oh well I suppose. Maybe one day I'll get better. As for now I will keep playing and praising the Lord for all He's given me!

Nick Nick.. N-N-Nick Nick-e-lo-deon!

I miss the days when Rocket Power was the most exciting thing on tv.
Thanks to netflix I can watch some of the cartoons i grew up watching.
Pretty exciting.
I just wanted to share.

Dot Dot Dot

New Years wasn't at all what i thought it was going to be.
But i think that every year i think its going to be amazing,
an it always turns out that theres something that doesn't work out...